围棋.我

After I won 小林老师 in a style of game that I always dreamt of, I have been feeling quite depressed. My dream is not what I imagined it would be. Instead time has wilted away much of the substance of my childhood weiqi dream. Those 5 years of everyday 10-12 hours weiqi training, swallowing my tears and sacrificing myself for the game, all of sudden I feel is totally not worth it. Going through so much emotional hoopla, I realize what I treasured the most is not those complicated things of fame or stature rather I treasure those simplest things: to be able to laugh like a carefree child completely devoid of worries or be able to love someone simply because I don't know why but I just fell all over for her. Weiqi has changed my life. I no longer can live a carefree life; I always feel the heavy shadow of expectation to achieve high level of excellence. I don't know how to break myself free from those heavy chains. I feel so tired....